


Frozen and Can't Breathe

by SpaceWaffleHouseTM



Series: One Shots from the Waffle House [18]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Helps Her Through It, Ben is soft, Canon Compliant, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kissing, No Pregnancy, Post TLJ, Rey has Sleep Paralysis, Sharing a Bed, Sleep Paralysis, they're soft, what about it, yes the title came from a one direction song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 02:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21153809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceWaffleHouseTM/pseuds/SpaceWaffleHouseTM
Summary: Ben wakes up in the middle of the night to realize the bond has connected them, and Rey is trapped in her own mind by a demon he knows all too well.Sleep paralysis is a nightmare but at least she doesn't have to go through it alone.





	Frozen and Can't Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> wait SHIT this is my 40th work on ao3 lmao I've been writing too many one shots fam.

The bond has activated in the middle of the night again. He can tell from the tiny little whooshing sound that enters his ears upon waking that Rey’s there, and for a second he almost smiles, for a second he forgets what’s happened between them and only recalls the feeling of touching her hand. Just for a little fraction of time that’s too small to measure, he’s in a hut by a fire with her, his hand pressed ever so gently up against hers, but then he remembers the history between them. 

Then he remembers how they parted. 

Sighs escape him as he attempts to roll over and look at her, or to roll away and grumble something in greeting before they inevitably spend the entire connection in silence. But he can’t move, he’s frozen, stuck, suspended where he is, and it takes what feels like an immense amount of force for him to finally roll over. It’s like he’s moving through the thickest sludge imaginable. 

Eventually, he manages, and when he finally turns over, he struggles to open his eyes. That also feels like he’s moving through hardening stone, like he’s trapped in a lake of tar, but he does it, and he finally gets a look at Rey as she comes into wakefulness. She’s still, stiffer than he’s ever seen, but she’s twitching slightly in her sleep, she’s breathing funny, like she’s frustrated, and through the force, he can feel an overwhelming sense of fear. 

Rey is terrified, and he doesn’t know why, but he has suspicions. Her mouth opens, but only a little, only enough for him to know she’s attempting to scream but nothing’s coming out. 

Concern filling him, Ben reaches out for her, but doesn’t touch, and he won’t until he’s sure she wants him to. The amount of fear and anxiety filling the bond right now is enough to overwhelm them both. He doesn’t need to make it worse, but he needs to figure out what this is, he needs to make it stop for both of their sakes. 

But what is this? What is happening to Rey? From an outsider’s perspective, it looks like she’s having a nightmare, and while that is a tragic thing, it isn’t outside of the realm of what’s normal for them. With how they both grew up, with how the last ten years of his life have been in particular, they’ve both woken up screaming from each other’s nightmares plenty of times now. 

This is no nightmare. She’s shaking like it is, but he knows it’s something else. 

He doesn’t invade her mind—that would also make this situation worse—but he does skim the surface of it. Ben glances over the haunting feelings that cry out from her restless brain, and suddenly he’s starting to understand what’s happening to her. 

This has happened to him, too. It’s happened a good number of times now. He’s woken up thinking he was fully awake before and figured out quickly, terrifyingly, that he wasn’t. Each time he’d swear his eyes were open even as they remained clamped shut, that he was awake even though he couldn’t move a muscle of his body. He was paralyzed, unable to do anything other than breathe, and he now knows that’s what has happened to Rey. 

Her mind has woken up, but her body is still asleep. She’s trapped in her own brain, lost one of the worst sort of nightmares, and not for the first time, he feels terrible for her. 

He blinks at her, keeping quiet for another few seconds as he thinks of how to proceed from here. Somehow, he’s got to free her from this, and she’s got to wake up. 

Breathing in nervously, he places a hand on her shoulder, and shakes her as gently as he can. “Rey,” he whispers, quietly begging for her to come back into consciousness. “Rey, wake up.”

Two sharp pants escape her lips, but she still doesn’t—still can’t—move. He’s beginning to grow concerned, but he knows this will pass. It’s passed for him before, usually after an agonizing minute or two, but it always goes away eventually. 

He’s not sure how to pull someone else out of it, not yet, and so he figures the best he can do is try and help her wait it out. They’re supposed to be enemies, he knows this, she knows this, and the whole damn galaxy knows it, but every time they’re faced with the conflict, he can’t bring himself to let her suffer. Whatever feelings he has for her prevent him from even considering it. 

Instead, he moves the hand on her shoulder down into the space between them, trying to find one of hers without accidentally touching a part of her he doesn’t mean to in the dark. After several awkward, fumbling seconds, he manages, his fingers wrapping around her stiff and unmoving ones as he closed his eyes, attempting to hone in on every comforting feeling he is capable of emoting through their connection. “I don’t know if you’re aware of what’s happening to you.” He squeezes her hand gently, then loosens his grip. “But I promise you, it’ll pass.” 

She shakes slightly, her body twitching as if she’s attempting to respond, but he knows she can’t. 

“You’re dreaming,” he tells her, and if she knows what’s happening to her, if it’s happened before, he’s going to look like a fool later. Another wave of calm washes over them both through their connection as he tries to think of every peaceful memory he’s ever experienced, but it’s difficult and he knows his confidence waivers. “I know where we stand with each other right now, but I’m here.”

Through the bond, he can sense a tinge if surprise, and he’s relieved to have some sort of confirmation that she can hear him, that this isn’t all in vain. 

“I’m going to stay here for as long as I can,” he promises her, running his thumb over the back of her knuckles. “Long enough for you to see that this will end. It’s not forever.”

She shakes a little more, then he feels her hand twitch in his, and relief floods them both as they realize she’s starting to properly wake up. 

Ben almost gives a joyous laugh, but the sound feels too foreign for him to conjure. “Just focus on me, Rey. Focus.” 

A few more tense moments pass, and for a moment he starts to feel fear seep into his bloodstream again, but then her breathing grows even, then she shifts ever so slightly, and he feels pure relief. As she begins to wake up properly, he continues sending every peaceful, calming thought he’s capable of through their connection, hoping it’ll keep working like it has. 

No one deserves to wake up like this, least of all her.

It isn’t long before Rey’s eyes finally snap open, and she gasps softly for air. He keeps gently stroking the back of her hand as she wakes up, whispering encouragements, and summoning every ounce of strength he has in the light. Ben may still be conflicted, but he knows what she needs right now, and it isn’t the dark. 

“B-Ben,” she stutters as she finally wakes up, and there are still waves of panic radiating from her as she grasps at the hand holding hers. 

“It’s okay,” he whispers, repeating it a few times as if he’s trying to reassure himself, too. “It’s okay.”

Rey’s entire body is shaking, and given the amount of terror he can feel from her, he wonders if she’s ever experienced this before. Has she ever woken up paralyzed or is this her first time? 

As if she can read his mind, she holds his hand to her chest, allowing him to feel how fast her heart is beating--as well as the sheen of sweat that’s developed over her skin. “That hasn’t happened in ages.” Her voice is low, almost monotone, and now he can feel sadness through the force. “I haven’t had that since I left Jakku.”

“I’m sorry.” It’s all he can think to say, all he knows  _ how _ to say. Now that she’s awake, they’re both going to become aware of everything that lies between them again sooner or later. She’s going to remember how they parted, and she’s going to want to run again, to shut off their connection like she always does, and it’ll break his heart. 

“It’s been so long I’ve almost forgotten how frightening it is,” she admits, then she looks up at him, meeting his gaze. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“I--I--This time was easier.” Her other hand comes up, and rests itself on his shoulder. “I know where we stand with one another right now, but thank you for being here.” 

Now his heart is the one that’s beating fast, a common side effect that happens every time she touches him. “I know how this feels, too. I get it frequently. Sometimes every other night I wake up and I’m just--”

“Trapped in your own body? Me too,” she replies, then she almost laughs, but buries half of her face in the pillow instead, and he shifts a little closer, feeling her reaching out through the force as she prepares to speak again. “It isn’t hard enough to just have nightmares.”

_ Fuck,  _ he knows how that feels. He knows it all too well. “I get those even when I’m awake.”

“Me too.”

They fall quiet for a second, then Rey shifts even closer to him, scooting forward until she’s pressed up against his chest, resting her forehead against it. Can she feel how hard his heart is beating now? Can she feel it pounding against her skull? “What are you doing?”

“I…” She sniffles quietly, then she shrugs. “I shouldn’t want you here, but I do. You were here tonight when no one else was, and… I want you to stay.”

_ I want you to stay. I want you to stay. I want you to stay. _

It repeats in his head over and over, echoing brilliantly through the walls of an imaginary cavern. He wants to scream, yell, leap with joy, but in the dim light, he can see her genuine yearning written plain as day on her face. He doesn’t want to scare her away, so he’s going to do exactly what she asked. He’s going to stay. 

His arms wrap around her, and he pulls her fully against him, holding her close as he presses a kiss to the crown of her head. “I’m gonna stay,” he whispers, then he holds her like that for a while, his fingers stroking her back as gently as he can manage as he sends more waves of assurance through the bond. 

She shivers slightly in his arms, and something makes him do the same as he rolls onto his back, and she rests on top of him. “Thank you.”

“If it happens again, call out to me.” He is stroking her hair now with his free hand, listening to the sound of her breathing as she holds him. “I don’t care where you are, where I am, or what we’re doing, call out to me.”

Rey raises her head, and rests her chin on his sternum. “What are we doing, Ben?”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re on opposite sides of a war. If either of those sides found out about this, we’d…” She shakes her head like she doesn’t actually know what would happen. Ben knows the First Order would kill him, that Hux would love a reason to mutiny, but if he knows his mother, she would never let anything happen to Rey, and if he knows _ Rey _ , he knows she’s smart enough to run before anything becomes an issue. 

“I know, but…” He rests his hand on her cheek, and perhaps the gesture is a bit intimate, but she doesn’t seem to mind. “Rey, no one’s around. It’s just us. We don’t… we don’t have to be at war here.”

She blinks at him a few times, then she nods slowly, as if coming to a realization. “You’re… you’re right.”

“So maybe we just have a few moments, maybe we just have the cover of night,” he says, his thumb stroking gently over her smooth cheek as he speaks. “I’ll take it.”

Another pause, another brief moment of silence passes between the two of them, and Rey slowly leans forward a little ways, her chin now resting on his collar bone. His heart is going to burst forth from his chest if she moves any closer, if she dares to do what he thinks she’s going to do. “I will, too.”

He speaks her name like it’s a warning, like he’s telling her that if she continues to approach, if she continues to draw closer, to move into his space, he won’t be able to stop himself from being drawn to her like a magnet. 

Still she moves, and he knows that unless she pulls away, he won’t be able to stop this, but he doesn’t want to, and so he sighs. “Can I kiss you?” he asks, because he wants to make sure--even though she’s the one initiating the kiss--that she’s comfortable, that he doesn’t overstep any boundaries. The reason they’re here having this conversation, after all, is because she’d woken up in sleep paralysis. The lingering emotional impact from such a thing can last for a while after it’s over, he knows this from personal experience. 

Rey, however, seems unaffected now--or more accurately, distracted. She seems to be putting all her focus into moving closer to him, into confirming with a subtle bow of her head that yes, he can kiss her, and into finally letting her lips meet his. 

The kiss starts off gentle, neither of them moving much, and actually tensing up in one another’s embrace for the first few seconds. After that, though, they begin to move, and he finds that Rey’s lips seem to have been meant to fit with his. They’re still moving slowly, still learning one another and how they move, but they’re moving now. 

It’s easily the best he’s ever felt. There’s a sort of euphoria that accompanies kissing her, and the force seems to be almost singing around them, like it’s finally found harmony now that his lips are on hers. For a moment, he’s half tempted to smile into the kiss, to let himself go completely as they fall into each other, but he restrains himself a little bit longer. He wants to linger in this first moment, to memorize every single aspect of his first kiss with Rey, but then he remembers the bond and how cruelly it cuts them off. 

He remembers how they’d been interrupted in the hut, how he’d sat frozen in his quarters with his hand still outstretched toward her for minutes after she’d gone. He can’t let them be cut off again. 

Finally, the kiss grows in intensity, Ben’s lips part properly, and they find their rhythm soon after that as he begins to wind his fingers into her hair. His other hand rests on the small of her back, tracing circles in the ridges of her spine. 

This is what peace is like. It’s holding her in his arms while the rest of the galaxy ceases to exist, and all around them is just this gentle light he can only describe as a sunrise. It feels the same as watching the morning stars rise to paint the sky an array of colors and make him feel warm and content. 

It feels  _ right.  _

Rey pulls away first, looking down at him curiously as her hand falls down onto his chest, then she breathes in deeply. “Your heart’s beating really fast.”

As always, she isn’t alone, he can feel her heartbeat where his hand rests over the column of her spine, and hers is just as elevated as his. “So is yours,” he says, then he pulls her in closer again, draws her in for another soft, serene kiss that has them both reeling thanks to what they can feel through the bond. 

He hopes she knows how much he cares about her, how much he wants her to be safe in spite of where they stand in this war, in spite of where they are right now. All he can think is how easy it is for them to lose each other, how he has to find a middle ground between her and himself if he’s going to be able to be around to help her through the night like this again, if he’s going to help her through any other time she becomes paralyzed by sleep or when she just wants to share a kiss. 

When they pull apart, he looks at her like she holds the entire universe in her eyes, like she is the stars in his sky, and he knows there’s no coming back from this. What they’ve just started is just the beginning of something, it can’t possibly be an ending. “If you ever need me again, you know what to do,” he tells her, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. 

“And so do you,” she assures him, then she shifts slightly, and rests her head on his chest, still on top of him, but now she covers him like a blanket, and their body heat radiates between them in a way that’s actually rather soothing. A tiny little yawn escapes her mouth, and he finds it rather endearing as she buries her face in his chest. “I think I’m getting tired again.”

“Go to sleep. I’ll be here if anything goes wrong.” At least, he hopes he will. He feels it deep within his soul that he will, and if the bond breaks them apart before then, he’ll just come right back. “I promise.”

“I know,” she replies, then she closes her eyes, and he does the same as his hands trace little circles in her back. “Goodnight, Ben.”

“Goodnight, Rey,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before he lets his body relax, and they both slowly drift off into sleep. 


End file.
